It’s inevitable. At some point, the biggest parenting quandary around October 31 goes from trying to wrangle last-minute Halloween costumes for your crew to wondering how old is too old to trick-or-treat, exactly.
A handful of local municipalities in the U.S. have trick-or-treating age limit laws or may allow older kids to participate only if they are escorting younger siblings. For the most part, though, there is no official answer to the question "What age do kids stop trick-or-treating?"
Teens and older tweens may naturally lose interest in going door to door. If they don’t, you may be wondering if you should intervene. Yet, even if you define the annual Halloween activity as a "just-for-kids" event, the next question is sure to follow: What defines "kid," anyway?
We wanted answers, so we turned to etiquette expert and writer Catherine Newman for advice. Here’s what she had to say to parents, older trick-or-treaters—and those handing out candy too (hint: don’t get too judgy).
So, how old is too old to trick-or-treat?
Answer: It is OK for a 12-year-old to go trick-or-treating… and a 14-year-old, and a 15-year-old. In fact, the teen years are fair game, according to Catherine, author of Catastrophic Happiness: Finding Joy in Childhood's Messy Years.
"I begrudge teenagers nothing," she says. "I just think they get in so much trouble for the weirdest reasons. Isn't trick-or-treating the most innocent, delightful thing for them to still want to do? Actually, when people complain about teenagers trick-or-treating, I'm like, 'Wait, what do you wish they were doing? Would you rather they were on their phones?'"
But, teenagers trick-or-treating, take note:
While Catherine advocates for teens and older kids trick-or-treating, she does set limits on trick-or-treating behavior. There should be no showing up and demanding all the best Halloween candy, she says. If you're going to trick-or-treat, you should play by the rules.
"You have to wear a costume—and wear it like you mean it," Catherine offers. "And you have to say 'please' and 'thank you,' too, the same way you would if you were a little kid."
It's important to remind fright-tolerant teens to keep the Halloween holiday "magical" (read: not terrifying) for the little ones out there. If your teen's intention is to dress up in a nightmare-inducing ensemble or to make trouble, they should consider staying home.
Parents and anyone handing out candy, this bit's for you…
For the most part, Catherine suggests that parents "just roll with it"—and this time, she's talking to those of you doling out the sweets. As long as all participants are well-intentioned, she sees no reason why the fun tradition needs an age limit at all.
"It's so incredibly sweet to watch these kids, who are on the cusp of adulthood, wanting to do something so innocent," Catherine says. "Watching my 17-year-old and his friends trade candy was one of the best evenings of my life."
Terri Robertson is the Senior Editor, Digital, at Country Living, where she shares her lifelong love of homes, gardens, down-home cooking, and antiques.
